I have always loved makeup and I am thankful that my Mom never stopped me from playing in it when I was a child. My mother had what seemed to be a whole new world when it came to all of her makeup and beauty products in our bathroom. I thought she was beautiful and I wanted to explore all of these products and potions that seemed to add to her beauty! When I would go to my Grandma’s house I would always go to her bathroom and open her drawer where she kept a makeup mirror, her lipstick, powder, and blush then I would go sit on her bed and try it all out. I loved it because it made me feel beautiful and confident! I had no idea that I may possibly look a bit silly because of the fact that I was so young walking around with makeup on or the fact that it may or may not be exactly where it should be. I can also remember vividly when we would go to visit friends of my parents that sometimes the lady of the house would ask me if they could get me anything and I would say “do you have any makeup?”, yes seriously. I’m sure that they were thinking maybe some water or juice but I doubt very seriously that they expected me to ask for makeup.
As a child we simply like what we like and we aren’t afraid to ask for what we want. I’m sure that there were probably times that my parents may have wished that I would stop asking for what I wanted but they never really told me that it was wrong. Well except for maybe this one time when I scored this bag of makeup from a friend of my parents! I was thrilled to open up this little brown bag of makeup this lady had given me after I had asked her if she had some makeup that I could have, but my Dad…he wasn’t so thrilled. He said “Kelly when we go visit people you don’t need to ask them for things”. I get it, he was teaching me manners and I am also thankful for that!
There are a lot of “no’s and you shouldn’ts” in this world and we often conform to those beliefs or standards as we grow into adults. Some of that is ok but a lot of it isn’t. You should be able to be authentically, unapologetically, and undeniably you! The world needs you and all of the uniqueness that you have to offer. That is where your true genius resides! As children we are connected more to spirit and less to society. I am so thankful that my parents encouraged me to play outside and to enjoy hobbies that helped to create my artistic side. I was actually shy aside from my “no fear attitude” when it came to my love of makeup and shoes and I am forever thankful for the encouragement and activities that my Mom involved me in that taught me to shine!
Then the world wanted to teach me not to shine… I can remember the first time that as an adult someone actually told me that I needed to “downplay it”. Sadly it was in church. I think this is one of the reasons why some have actually been turned off to “church”. I have never thought of myself as a singer but I can carry a tune enough to get by without embarrassing myself horribly. My Mom is like a lot of moms out there (when it comes to her child and recognizing their talent 😉 ) and she loves to hear me sing. She would always encourage me to sing in church, at pageants, and anywhere else the opportunity would present itself. A few years ago I had someone tell me that they had someone tell them- (you know how that jealousy chit chat can be) that the only reason that I sang was so that I could be seen. I guess they didn’t notice the hives on my neck due to the extreme nervousness and anxiety that came along with me feeling like I was bringing any attention to myself. I found it horrifying but I believed in using any talent that God had blessed me with to minister to others. Trust me I was not there “to be seen”. I grew up in church and sadly had many experiences of women talking about me (within the church) which lead to me also not wearing shorts for years…. oh well! I still love church and I realize that some people will always talk about you no matter where you are and to expect humans to be anything but who they are no matter where they are isn’t worth my time or my attention.
I have also had the experience of having a man that was supposed to be a marketing, website professional to tell me that I needed to not be so “over the top”- that I needed to be more relatable to women and not look like a beauty queen (I was just trying to look my best and didn’t have any intention of sending the message “beauty queen” to anyone). I thought that was odd advice because I would be more drawn to someone that appeared to have it more together. So following his advice I used photos that showed my roots not being freshly retouched and I had a website that was simply simple and what would easily be overlooked. I wouldn’t want to book me by looking at that website so why would I think others would have.
I have dated men and even been married to a man that wanted me to go without makeup, wear yoga pants, and not have to be dressed up when I went out in to the world. That is fine if you want to be natural but it should be your choice. You should never have to dress like you just crawled out of bed to make your man feel good. I have dealt with comments like- “why do you have to always fix your hair- can’t you just throw it in a ponytail?, why can’t you just wear some jeans?, who are you so dressed up for?”… inside I was thinking for ME!!!- I do it for ME because I feel better when I feel like I look better- it isn’t for you or anyone else that doesn’t appreciate it. I want to be with a man that appreciates me with a naked face just as much as he loves to see me dressed up and going out into the world boldly and confidently.
For years I wore black, navy, grey, and tan so that I would blend in. I wore lipgloss instead of lipstick (even though I had loved lipstick in the past) because I didn’t want to do anything that would bring too much attention to me. I remember a good friend of mine looking in my closet about a year and a half ago and seeing the shock on his face. He said, “that’s it?, that’s all you got? Kelly there is hardly anything in here and it’s all black”. I said “yes, I really don’t like shopping”. I had lost myself because I was too worried about what everyone else had told me to be. I was thinking about it and remembered how much I used to love to shop and how good it felt to put on pretty things. I remember thinking I don’t even know what I like anymore and that is why shopping creates more stress for me. We booked a shopping date and I began to fall in love with fashion again. I will be forever thankful for him teaching me to shine again. He said, “ you were born to shine, why would you do anything else”. It was then that I realized shining was a good thing. We need light in the world. The world is full of negativity, and darkness. People are beat down and they need someone that is full of light to encourage them to shine. Whether its putting on red lipstick or your favorite pair of boots do what gives you that shine factor and rid yourself of those that try to convince you to blend in! It may feel uncomfortable at first but after you have done it a few times you will find that you feel more confident and beautiful than you have in years….and the world will notice! You will then begin to live life to the fullest and you will encourage others to do the same thing- yes even with just a simple bold red lipstick.
For those that tried to dim your light…they will still be talking and admiring you from afar. But you will not be able to hear the chatter because now all you hear is the applause of the universe celebrating you becoming confidently you!!